so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
