now i know why i became what i already was.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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