Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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