i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
