I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
