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Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
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