I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
