brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
