I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
