remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
