Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
