If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
