wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
