man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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