I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
