I wannas sexs uuuuu
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Enjoy the penises
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
