I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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