Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
