Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I still have a little drunk in my system
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
