he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
