So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
