I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
