we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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