I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
