i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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