he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
