We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
