Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
