This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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