too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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