I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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