She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
