I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
