your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i think i just lost a toe
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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