I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
