i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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