Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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