well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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