Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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