He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize