well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
