if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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