hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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