at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
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Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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