Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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