took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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