all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's great music for shaving your balls
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
