At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
