it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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