Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
