omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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