I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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