Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
