As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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