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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize