My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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