So drunk its hurt
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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