your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
