Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
