I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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