she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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