im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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