I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
