Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
