I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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