Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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