fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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