You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
