so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you had me at cake vodka
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
