Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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