And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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