i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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